Day of the Wolf-27 -

To Whom It May Concern,

I returned from my recent sick leave, which I took to tend to my Great Aunt Martha, bless her besotted mind and soul, to find a "sticky" note stuck to my "office" door.
I find "sticky" notes not a proper way to transfer important information. They should be used to remind one that bread or milk needs to be purchased. They should not be used to relay information of such an importance as a TELEGRAM from Sir Z'Corkey!

I was telling Great Aunt Martha about my volunteer job and the amount of important work I have to undertake when it became apparent to me that she couldn't hear a word I was saying. She was simply nodding her head and dropping her stitches. I took her to her doctor to find that she was dehydrated and stressed.

Stressed? She lives in a comfortable home, with her two cats a pleasant income from her three late husbands, what could possibly stress the woman? Dehydrated? The woman has a standing order with the corner bar to deliver a case of Coors to her once a month.

Perhaps the problem is with the choice of beer. I myself prefer a nice dark Mexican beer.
I took her home, settled her into her comfy chair, poured her a glass of beer and toasted some bread for her and suggested that she learn to breathe properly. Perhaps her stress is related to her short breaths due to the tight girdle she continues to wear.
She looked up at me and suggested that I sit down and have a beer myself because she had some rather disturbing news for me.
At that time I had no idea that I would need to request sick leave, to stay with her and make sure she ate proper meals and drank enough beer. I thought her problem easy to solve. I was so mistaken.

And, then when I finally do return to my volunteer position at the Zettiland Historical Society I find a "sticky" note, on my door, telling me that Sir Corkey, oh dear, I've told you that already haven't I? I'm afraid that I am quite flustered at the moment.

The problem is two fold, one that the telegram seems to mirror the same information that I received from my Great Aunt Martha and two that when I get flustered I find I need to go to the bathroom and that issue has still not been resolved.
I speak of the issue of the bathroom being on the third floor proper while I work/volunteer in the sub basement level three and there is no elevator from here to there. My endless memos, letters, pleas have resulted in absolutely no change in the situation. Apparently, it is still in Committee.

I thought I had solved the problem when I rented a Stays Upright Porty Potty.
Unfortunately, when it was delivered the gentleman told me that he was unable to bring it into the building and that it would have to remain outside which didn't help my problem in the slightest.

I realize that I am a volunteer, an unpaid worker for the Zettiland Historical Society but I do think there should be some consideration for the amount of work that I do for them in the sorting and storing, filing, flinging and cataloging of the immense amount of drivel that Sir Corkey sends back here to me.

And, yes I am getting to the point. This latest arrival is simply NOT something that I can handle in the usual manner. I mean, what does he expect me to do with her? He did expect Great Aunt Martha to deal with the problem. I suspect that over the years with all his Time Travel he has forgotten how old dear OLD Great Aunt Martha is now.
There is no way she can care for a young woman, whose connection to her is rather dim. I think she is the daughter of her mother's second cousin's brother-in-law.

I can't care for a young woman. What on earth am I to do with her? And, then there is the problem that I have lost her already.
I mention that only because I suspect it is temporary. She is a curious person and can't seem to sit still like a young lady should. I went to make a cup a tea for myself and pour another beer for Great Aunt Martha and when I came back into the room, she, the young woman had vanished.
Great Aunt Martha said that she often does this but does return. She is curious.
I think she is rude.
I think Great Aunt Martha is senile.
I think I am overworked and it's not a healthy situation for my bladder but nobody has asked me anything.
I take that back, Great Aunt Martha has asked me to assume responsibility for the young Zettite until Sir Corkey can sort out her inheritance.
And, I assume this is another unpaid job?

So, to take stock, I have in my hand a "sticky" note telling me that Sir Corkey has telegraphed a message that his ward, Z'beatrice will be arriving at Great Aunt Martha's home in a short time.
I have used up my sick leave taking care of a dehydrated, exhausted, beer guzzling Great Aunt that has "lost" said ward.
My tea is cold.
Z'beatrice is missing.
I have some explaining to do, I'm sure of that.

Let me think a bit.

Sincerely,
Z'bea, unpaid volunteer, of Sir Corkey's Field Notes and Etc., for the Zettiland Historical Society.
Located in the basement back corner on Level Three of the Sub Basement, the floor without a proper Ladies Room